The Jesus Motel

The Jesus Motel is a real and true place, in Wheelie, Missouri! I walked about a mile down the road and I knew it as soon as I saw it. It’s a little homey motel with lots of big plastic religious figurines all over the place. They even have a chain-link fence, and a pool!

I went right into the office and talked with Arlette, a lady who looks and sounds just like Boss Hogg’s wife Lulu Hogg, from the TV show “The Dukes of Hazzard.” Oh my, she is classy. Her wig is way better than mine, and she has lots of bracelets up and down each arm. I was real impressed.

She told me she only pays $5 an hour for the cleaning job, but that I would get a free “roomette” - which is basically a large closet with a foldout cot and a cute little cupboard thing to put my stuff in. I have to do all my bathroom stuff in the little shower room next to the pool.

Arlette said my job is to make the beds, run the sweeper and “clean up the general disarray.” I also have to mop up the tubs and toilets after people check out. Arlette says if I work out, she will train me to check people in, and that I can use her computer in the office if she isn’t playing games on Pogo.

Hello from The Jesus Motel!